Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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