Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
