You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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