Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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