I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
