East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
4 words: hood of his car
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
