I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
