Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
