I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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