shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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