I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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