you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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