nut hugger
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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