I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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