He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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