I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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