What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
