Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
