so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
