if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
