As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
