You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Someone came in the potted fern
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
