I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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