her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
