I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize