I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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