BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
try to milk me bitch
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
