Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
