I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize