he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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