Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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