So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
