What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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