bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
