The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize