oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't want my vagina anymore.