yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
