so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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