If i come over, it means nothing
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How naked do you want me to be?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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