I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and she was petting her beer can
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
