college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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