why didn't you poke me back
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize