drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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