Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
