just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
