So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I smell like Dick and happiness
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
