Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize