Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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