she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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