Can i not drive my cunt home
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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