I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize