I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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