thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
do nipples grow back?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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