no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
