Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
