I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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