Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I met the friendliest cop last night
babies were throwing up all over the place
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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