I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
